NEWS FLASH!
Ok, first off, what does news flash even mean? That the news is flashing somebody? Cause that would be a bit nasty, wouldn't it?
Oh well, forget I even metioned it. I have decided that this post should actually have a purpose instead of just rambling on about no apparent topic. Ok? Ok. So here goes: the purpose of this post is to inform you. Truthfully. There are many things in life that you won't want to figure out on your own, so I've figured them our for you. I will write the info out in FAQ form, life's little questions and my answers to them. I am sorry to say I have proven each one. The results are not always pretty. But they need to be known. So here goes:
Q: What happens when you play the theme from "The Empire Strikes Back" really loud while you jump up and down and hit yourself repediatly in the head?
A: You get a headache
Q: Can you get high by sniffing a gerbil?
A: No. You just get a lot of hair up your nose.
Uh, that's really all of life's little questions I can think of at the moment. If you have any more questions that you are afraid to find the answers to yourself TELL THEM TO ME and I'll see what I can do to find them. After all, it is my job. Well, not really. But still.
Continuing with the news flash. Today was school picture day. YEA! Yeah. Except that all my pictures come out looking terrible. Every year, it never fails. I look like a full fledged nerd (which I am not. I'm 24% nerd and proud of it!) But this year is diffrent! Yes! For 6 dollars extra, my photo will be customly retoached. In other words, they will edit out all of my physical flaws. In even more other words, the finished picture will look absolutly nothing like me. In even MORE other words, the custom retoaches will be like "screw this" and will paste somebody elses head on my body.
No, just kidding. My parents totally wasted 6 bucks. There is absolutly nothing anybody can do to make me look better than I do right now.
Ok, that wasn't true either. Basicly they'll just edit some stuff and send me with a good looking picture. And then all the people we send it to will be like. "Holy Crap! Adam doesn't look like a dork! It's the sign of the apocolypse!" Which of course, would be true, and at that exact moment the sun's gravity will suck us in and we will all be instanly fried into a mound of chisled flesh. But as long as I look good in my picture, I really don't care.
Oh well, forget I even metioned it. I have decided that this post should actually have a purpose instead of just rambling on about no apparent topic. Ok? Ok. So here goes: the purpose of this post is to inform you. Truthfully. There are many things in life that you won't want to figure out on your own, so I've figured them our for you. I will write the info out in FAQ form, life's little questions and my answers to them. I am sorry to say I have proven each one. The results are not always pretty. But they need to be known. So here goes:
Q: What happens when you play the theme from "The Empire Strikes Back" really loud while you jump up and down and hit yourself repediatly in the head?
A: You get a headache
Q: Can you get high by sniffing a gerbil?
A: No. You just get a lot of hair up your nose.
Uh, that's really all of life's little questions I can think of at the moment. If you have any more questions that you are afraid to find the answers to yourself TELL THEM TO ME and I'll see what I can do to find them. After all, it is my job. Well, not really. But still.
Continuing with the news flash. Today was school picture day. YEA! Yeah. Except that all my pictures come out looking terrible. Every year, it never fails. I look like a full fledged nerd (which I am not. I'm 24% nerd and proud of it!) But this year is diffrent! Yes! For 6 dollars extra, my photo will be customly retoached. In other words, they will edit out all of my physical flaws. In even more other words, the finished picture will look absolutly nothing like me. In even MORE other words, the custom retoaches will be like "screw this" and will paste somebody elses head on my body.
No, just kidding. My parents totally wasted 6 bucks. There is absolutly nothing anybody can do to make me look better than I do right now.
Ok, that wasn't true either. Basicly they'll just edit some stuff and send me with a good looking picture. And then all the people we send it to will be like. "Holy Crap! Adam doesn't look like a dork! It's the sign of the apocolypse!" Which of course, would be true, and at that exact moment the sun's gravity will suck us in and we will all be instanly fried into a mound of chisled flesh. But as long as I look good in my picture, I really don't care.
posted by Adam at 3:12 PM
6 Comments:
Heeeee. Send me one!
Additionally:
"O-Ren Ishii... half Chinese half Japanese-y... half American... oh what a specie..."
Hmm... that might me a hard one to test. But I'll see what I can do.
BE a hard one to test, rather.
"she grew up on a military base...where she had to face...the monstrosity of her mother and father being erased...her enemies UHH!"
Kill Bill Volume 1: The Official Soundtrack "Ode to Oranishi"
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