Adam's Dream Log volume I
Yes, I realize that with everybody being so interested with my life (pause for hysterical laughter) that everybody would love to know just what I dream about. Of course, exactly what I dream about is just as interesting as reading a good book. A very, very, boring good book, mind you. But if you are already this far than you probably don't have anything important to be doing anyway, so I will continue. The main dreams that I can remember from a long time ago are nightmares. You know, the ones that are scary. Yeah. Though I have know idea why they call them "mares." A mare is like a horse, right? Right, you can't disagree with me without posting a comment, so ha. If you take the pleasure of proving me wrong, than you will be forced to give me the satisfaction of actaully getting feedback! TRAPPED! Okay, well Webster's dictionary describes a nightmare as a very scary dream. At least,that is what it would say if I wasn't too lazy to actually get a dictionary and look it up. But I'm sure that's right. Maybe the fact that they are scary is the reason they are fused inside my head a the memory of seeing a flat dog in the middle of the road. Oh, sorry, you weren't eating then, were you? Anyway, for your entertainmet that is only entertaining compared to what you would probably be doing otherwize, here are some of my earliest NIGTMARES!!!
1) I dreamed I was watching a movie. Or something. Or maybe I was inside the movie. Or maybe it changed from a movie to a story. WHATEVER. From now on I will not discuss the issue of perspective. Well, there was an old man. A bald guy, with a top hat and little wire glasses. You know, those kind that people wear in old movies. Well, he was going outside to look for his cat or something. Yeah, that's it. His cat. So he goes outside and then, all of the sudden, cats are falling out of the sky. Literally. They just fall out of the sky. No idea where that came from. So anyway, the guy picks up a cat that may of may not have been his cat, and goes home. Now looking through the window by the front door, you see this giant statue of a bear. He's wearing green overalls. I'd like to point out that this bear has a slit in his back that you put coins in, but I have no idea how I figured that out. I'll bet he sceams like that annoying nazgull. OW! A NICKEL! YOU FIEND! Anyway, the old man is there with this cat, and he forgot the keys to the house. "But how did he lock the door in the first place?" I sometimes ask my subconcious self. No clue. He knocks on the door. (Stupid idea, really, seeing as he is single and nobody is home.) But here is the freaky part. THE DOOR IS OPENED BY THE GIANT BEAR SHAPED BANK! Which has magicly come too life for no reason whatsoever. Anyway, the bear points to the floor and says in his incredibly deep voice that sounds like the root of all terror, "THIS IS MY HOUSE!" Then everybody is magicly transported to the bear's study, which I must point out is very messy and is in need of some tidying up. Well, the bear who thinks he is so high and mighty points at the floor again, this time saying "THIS IS MY ROOM!" And then the dream is over.
2) This sillily short dream may not have had a lot of length, but in had a whole lot on SCARY! For me, at that time in my life, however, I was scared of the coffeepot in my play kitchen because it looked like a demon. Actually, it looked just like a coffeepot, but somehow I got demon out of it. The dream is simply this: I am running back and forth through one of those doors that can open both ways. And I am being chased.... BY THE CRIMANALY INSANE MAN OF THE MOON! That guy from a picture book I read as a child where the man on the moon is nice and sereves all the litte children tea and cookies. But for some reason, he's gone mad and wants me dead. Go figure.
3) The last really scary nightmare I can remember for my childhood days (I still have several now) is where for some reason, my family and I just turn to dust and crumble onto the groud. No reason for this whatsoever, I would like to add. I guess we were just worn out. Maybe we needed some Gatorade, that helped the people in that one commercial from crumbling away. Yeah. Well, I would like to point out that later that night one of my parents decided to watch all dogs go to heaven on the telivision. The talking of the dogs somehow conjured up the dream of a bunch of people in a boardroom talking about stuff. Hmmm.
Well, this concludes Adam's Dream Log volume I. Remember to post your nominations for the ADHC awards! Oh, I couldn't get through an entire post without writing that, could I? I should be so ashamed. BUT DO IT ANYWAY! Okay, ranting done.
1) I dreamed I was watching a movie. Or something. Or maybe I was inside the movie. Or maybe it changed from a movie to a story. WHATEVER. From now on I will not discuss the issue of perspective. Well, there was an old man. A bald guy, with a top hat and little wire glasses. You know, those kind that people wear in old movies. Well, he was going outside to look for his cat or something. Yeah, that's it. His cat. So he goes outside and then, all of the sudden, cats are falling out of the sky. Literally. They just fall out of the sky. No idea where that came from. So anyway, the guy picks up a cat that may of may not have been his cat, and goes home. Now looking through the window by the front door, you see this giant statue of a bear. He's wearing green overalls. I'd like to point out that this bear has a slit in his back that you put coins in, but I have no idea how I figured that out. I'll bet he sceams like that annoying nazgull. OW! A NICKEL! YOU FIEND! Anyway, the old man is there with this cat, and he forgot the keys to the house. "But how did he lock the door in the first place?" I sometimes ask my subconcious self. No clue. He knocks on the door. (Stupid idea, really, seeing as he is single and nobody is home.) But here is the freaky part. THE DOOR IS OPENED BY THE GIANT BEAR SHAPED BANK! Which has magicly come too life for no reason whatsoever. Anyway, the bear points to the floor and says in his incredibly deep voice that sounds like the root of all terror, "THIS IS MY HOUSE!" Then everybody is magicly transported to the bear's study, which I must point out is very messy and is in need of some tidying up. Well, the bear who thinks he is so high and mighty points at the floor again, this time saying "THIS IS MY ROOM!" And then the dream is over.
2) This sillily short dream may not have had a lot of length, but in had a whole lot on SCARY! For me, at that time in my life, however, I was scared of the coffeepot in my play kitchen because it looked like a demon. Actually, it looked just like a coffeepot, but somehow I got demon out of it. The dream is simply this: I am running back and forth through one of those doors that can open both ways. And I am being chased.... BY THE CRIMANALY INSANE MAN OF THE MOON! That guy from a picture book I read as a child where the man on the moon is nice and sereves all the litte children tea and cookies. But for some reason, he's gone mad and wants me dead. Go figure.
3) The last really scary nightmare I can remember for my childhood days (I still have several now) is where for some reason, my family and I just turn to dust and crumble onto the groud. No reason for this whatsoever, I would like to add. I guess we were just worn out. Maybe we needed some Gatorade, that helped the people in that one commercial from crumbling away. Yeah. Well, I would like to point out that later that night one of my parents decided to watch all dogs go to heaven on the telivision. The talking of the dogs somehow conjured up the dream of a bunch of people in a boardroom talking about stuff. Hmmm.
Well, this concludes Adam's Dream Log volume I. Remember to post your nominations for the ADHC awards! Oh, I couldn't get through an entire post without writing that, could I? I should be so ashamed. BUT DO IT ANYWAY! Okay, ranting done.
posted by Adam at 1:08 PM
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