ADHC Awards Ceremony!

Yes, it the day that we all (well, some of us . Well, I'll be fair, five of us. Actually, 3 of us. Okay, maybe two. Alright, nearly one of us) have been waiting for! The winners of the ADHC awards! If you have not already voted, that's okay, there's always next year. But for this year, it is TOO LATE! MWAHHAHHAA! But enough mindless rambling, lets go ahead and begin the ceremony! Here's your host, Chris Rock!

Chris Rock: Blah, blah, blah, racist joke, blah blah blah, profanity, blah blah, blah, so - and - so is a bad actor.

Announcer: Here to give the award for the best author is... Adam Sandler!!!

Adam Sandler and Chris Rock: (unfunny skit promoting their new movie)

Adam Sandler: The nominees for best author are: J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter Series. Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl Series. Phillup Pullman, His Dark Materials Series. Daniel Handler, A Series of Unfortunate Events. And J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings. And the ADHC goes to.... EOIN COLFER!!!

Eoin Colfer: Thanks, I've always wanted this award, even though it doesn't even exist. Thank you!

Announcer: Okay, thanks for that. Due to the boring content of this awards show, we are going to speed things up a little bit.

Chris Rock: Dude! You can't just "speed up" the ADHC's!

Announcer: I can do anything I want to because I'm the one with the microphone.

Chris Rock: I have one too!

Announcer: I don't care. Best Actor, EWAN MCGREGOR!!!

Ewan: I'd like to thank... (music starts playing) Hey! I didn't get a chance to....

Announcer: Sorry Ewan. Best Actress is DREW BARRYMORE!!! Who is unfortunatly sick tonight and could not...

Drew Barrymore: I'm right here!

Announcer: NO SHE'S NOT! SHE'S SICK! IMPOSTER! Okay, with what I was saying, best show is BARNEY!!! What? Barney? There must be some mistake!

Barney: Well hello boys and girls! We're going to have some fun tonight!

Announcer: Start the music! START THE MUSIC! (Runs away screaming)

Chris Rock: Now that's what I'm talking about! Barney, you da man!!

Barney: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...

Chris Rock: That's right my big purple friend! Now, for best movie! THE TRUMAN SHOW!!!

Jim Carrey: Wow! And I thought nobody wouldever respect me as an actor in a serious role!

Barney: I didn't.

Jim Carrey: WHAT DID YOU SAY? (Barney and Jim get into a big messy fistfight)

Chris Rock: Wow. Well, onto our last award, for the best person on Earth. ADAM CAMERON!!! He couldn't be here tonight because he had something important to write on his computer.

Millions of Famous People: HOORAY FOR ADAM CAMERON! THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!

Well, there you have it. The ADHC awards. For the next year, you will no longer here me nagging about voting. But when next year comes... EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU HAD BETTER VOTE! Or not. I don't care. On another weird topic... did you know that Paris Hilton has an entire city in Europe named after her? Man, that woman has everything. Then again, my Mom has a city named after her, too. And Prune is still such a weird word! So is weael. If we combine them, we get preasel. Mmmm, preasel. Sounds like a forein brand of pastry. Oh man, now I have a terrible craving for a preasel.